Friday, July 27, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance IRRITATION.

If you know me, you know that I've got a guilty pleasure in only one reality show- So You Think You Can Dance. Being a former dancer, this is probably the only show I'd actually sit and enjoy on a night to night basis.

I'm a little disappointed though. I was watching the results show last night- and if you watched it, you were probably assuming that Jaime and Kameron were going home. Honestly, with how stuck up Jaime is, and Kameron's steady decline over the last few weeks, it really was a given.

Little did I know that Cox Digital Cable also assumed Jaimie and Kameron were going home, too. I flipped over from watching The Devil Wears Prada on HBO to FOX to watch the results show promptly at 9pm, and lo and behold, the Show Info on my TV said the following: "So You Think You Can Dance": Kameron Bink, Jaimie Goodwin Two more dancers must leave; Mika performs. (L) Perform.

In case you weren't aware, that "L" stands for "Live". The results show was meant to be LIVE. So why was it, before the show even started, I knew who was going home?

I'm thoroughly disappointed. However, at least I feel slightly vindicated in knowing that I got a snapshot of my TV with The Simpsons Movie commercial in the background. Which I'm going to see tonight. I can NOT wait. More to come tonight after I get home from the movie. 11 more hours. I can make it, I'm awesome.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


Just got to work this morning. The foe-head is doing quite a bit better, but my hip has been bothering me since my softball game on Sunday. So I went to see my orthopedic doctor this morning to make sure I didn't fracture my iliac crest or something equally as annoying (like a hernia).

They took an x-ray and noticed my bones are fine... when I asked what the little black spots were on my left hip, the x-ray tech quietly laughed. I, of course, love a good reason to laugh, responded "What??".

"That's gas."

Wow, that was slightly embarrassing. And I'm not known for being the "embarrassed" type. Oops.

My doctor poked my hip a few times, and said "What happened this time?".

"Well, this is how it goes. Since you sent me to a pain management doctor for my RSD and Fibromyalgia, I've been doing quite a bit better. I also went to see a Shiatsu Therapist, and he was able to help me tremendously. So I decided it would be a great idea to start doing something to help jump start me into working out and losing weight. I started playing softball this summer with a Co-Ed league, which is something I grew up doing and thoroughly enjoy. This past Sunday, I played catcher... now mind you, this weight gain and 'gracefulness' does not lend for a very comfortable squat for extended periods of time. You know the term 'cow-tipping'? That's sort of what it's like when you bump me in a squatting position. I just sort of, well, fall over. That did happen a couple times, as well as having collisions with a few people attempting to score. Since that point, I've been fairly stiff, and my hip has hurt to the touch, and it's especially irritating when I'm going up stairs."

As I'm giving my brief monologue of pitiful events, I look at my doctor, who's face is suddenly bright red, and my chart is covering his mouth. Oh yes, I'm being laughed at. Just to make sure he heard me correctly, he asked "And you just... fell over?".

"Yes, it's not that hard to do with me. I could fall over from a standing position, let alone a squatting position."

He is in full out laughter at this point, and I'm pretty sure (although he may never admit it) he might have had tears coming to his eyes and maybe even dribbled a little from spastic bladder control under the circumstances.

Regardless, once he managed to regain to control of himself, he decided to do an injection in my hip with cortisone, and sent me on my way. He believes the bursitis in my hips is flaring up again, so that's just one more thing we have to monitor.

I'm feeling a tad bit better at this point, but obviously, my ego is a little bruised. Good thing my doctor is a fox.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Just Call Me Grace...

Good Morning to all! Today is a fun day, because we've already started out with a minor injury.

Let's start this post right and explain exactly what happened.

I woke up at 6am this morning (approximately 45 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off)- and realized I was all alone in bed. I thought maybe Scar had gotten up to use the bathroom/smoke a cigarette/make breakfast... and I walk to the living room to find his lazy ass asleep on the couch.

Go figure. He got home around 11:15 last night from poker, and never made it all the way into the bedroom; instead, falling asleep on the couch watching High Stakes Poker on GSN. At this time, I also figured out why I had been so cold all night- he still had my blanket the couch, so I was freezing my little nips off under the thin sheet on my bed.

I went back to the bedroom to lie down for a few more minutes, and ended up falling asleep through my alarm until 7:30. I am officially late for work, because I desperately needed to shower. Don't ask.

After eating some Eggo Waffles (totally hit the spot, considering I lazed out of cooking last night and only made myself a ham 'n' cheese samich), I took a shower and began getting ready for work. Once I got my shoes on, I rushed out the door to get in my car and motor it to work. Just as I was buckling my seat belt, I realized I was missing something. My phone.

I unbuckled my seat belt, and "ran" back up the stairs (and by ran, I mean waddled hurriedly) to get it. I grabbed my phone, and rushed BACK down the stairs to my car, and as I got in, I either misjudged the height of my car, or was still asleep, and cracked my forehead open on the door frame of my car.

OUCH. Taking a peak in the rear view mirror, I realize I have little drops of blood pooling up and trickling down towards my eye. First a tear comes to my eye, then possibly every cuss word I'm aware of came pouring out of my mouth. I went back upstairs to clean up my wound and make sure I wasn't going to puke or pass out. It immediately stopped bleeding, however, I still had a few spots dancing before my right eye.

Once I finally get my bearings about me, I SLOWLY get back into my car and drive to work. I'm doing fine until the Sun, who had so graciously been hiding behind the Clouds, for my sake, I'm sure, decided to poke out and tease me with it's bright rays. I squinted and suddenly realize that my forehead was not just scratched, but had a large knot forming. That feeling is enough turn your stomach, especially when you're driving through rush hour traffic in one of the stupidest cities in NoVa. Damn you, Sun!

I was able to make it to work without mishap, however, I'm currently sitting at my desk pondering the drug interactions between Balacet and Excedrin Extra Strength, and whether or not both would be worth it for my screaming headache and back pain. Shouldn't be a problem, right?


I suppose this is the point where I take some pills to get a little stoned and forget all about the large, tumor-like knot that's forming on my forehead. Good Day, all, and I shall be back for more tales from the gracefully challenged.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Welcome to the Pain Show

Hi! Yah, you, I was saying hi to YOU.

Welcome to my blog. Getting through all the niceties and introduction, this is my first post.

Enough about that. I'm at work, but hush now, no one is supposed to know that I waste all of my time online instead of actually working. I guess that tends to happen when you're mildly addicted to pain pills and can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Adult ADD says WHAT?

I'll give a quick run through introduction of the characters you'll meet in the stories follow, so you know exactly who you're dealing with here.

Scar- that would be my fiancé. This is purely for the fact that he had back surgery last year, and has a 4 inch scar in the middle of his lower back. That, and I couldn't think of a better name for him. He isn't working right now due to his back surgery. He still collects a higher paycheck than me on disability, but he gets to sit at home playing PlayStation all day.

Busty- a co-worker, also happens to be one of my closest friends. She is mainly the inspiration for my newly found sarcastic humor. She has the purest heart of nearly all I know, not to mention some of the BIGGEST gazungas I have ever seen. Giving her breasts a good squeeze might easily be one of the favorite rituals of my day.

GameFreek- Busty's boyfriend. In my ongoing need to be kind, I refrained from labeling him "The Biggest Dork I Know". He's a great friend, and a good boyfriend to Busty. And he also let me borrow Starcraft, so his rating went up a little in my book.

PokerGirl- this would be a new friend I just met from playing poker. She and her fiancé are good friends of ours, and often come over for a glass of wine and a good chat.

PokerGuy- PokerGirl's fiancé, he's in a world of his own most times, but his strangeness often equals amusement for those around him.

These are the main characters you'll read about. I'll introduce more characters along the way.

Now it's time for me to take my Balacet to get slightly stoned and actually work on making it through the rest of the day.

Until tomorrow...