Monday, August 13, 2007

Poker and Stress (LONG ENTRY)

Hello friends!!

Can I just say that this weekend sucked some serious ASS?

Let's just lay it out- Friday, I had an audit (this is where the boss and I go to another office, review office notes that the physicians dictate, and make sure that they're billing the level they're dictating- i.e.- the office note has the information/dictation for a level 2, but they're billing a level 4- big no-no in the insurance industry), so my day lasted even longer than I wanted it to. Because I was sick earlier this week, I was trying desperately to make up more time, so I arrived at this other office at 7am, and worked until about 6pm. I was 12 clicks away from a 40 hour work week (that would be a little over 7 minutes). I just couldn't be bothered, really.

So I left work to head out to Beef O'Brady's to pick up PokerGirl so we could head out to Zbaby's to play- sat and had a beer with PokerGirl and some of her just-barely-21 friends from work. I barely finished mine (I really don't drink beer that much... give me a glass of wine or a mixed drink over beer any day), but since it was only a dollar, I didn't feel too bad. We went over to 7-11 to buy some snacks and Sparks.

Okay, I've never had Sparks before. That had to have been the weirdest tasting drink I have EVER had. It's this energy drink with malt liquor in it. The energy drink side tastes just like Red Bull, but that's where the similarities end. Don't even compare it to a Red Bull and Vodka, because you're WAY off. It's like taking a swig of Steel Reserve and chasing it with an energy drink. I managed to get the WORST headache from this. If I thought I had ever had a migraine before- I was sadly mistaken. That's probably what made my night so horrible.

Move to my first and only fantastic hand of the night. I get pocket Kings. I bet $5. For some STUPID reason, I had 5 callers. I should NOT have had 5 callers. Of all the people that called, I should have only had 1 caller, and that was because he had pocket Queens. Now, the last person who called merely called for pot odds. I hate it when people do that. I mean, sure, if it had been a $3 bet, I can understand, but a $5 bet?! He didn't belong anywhere NEAR there.

Anyway, the flop comes out 5, 7, 8 rainbow (meaning they were all of different suits)- so there was barely any chance for a flush on the board. I'm first to act, so I bet another $5 to get out the remainder of the idiots that should NOT have been in the hand to begin with. That knocks out everyone but me, the person with QQ and the idiot who called for "pot odds". The turn comes, and I can't even remember what it was. The "pot odds" jerk looks at me and says "I flopped the straight, you might not want to put any more money into the pot". So I check, so does pocket QQ's. We check it the rest of the way down, and POJ turns over 4 6 off suit. HE CALLED MY $5 BET WITH 4/6 OS??!?! I was fuming. I promptly through my cards into the center and went outside for a cigarette.

After I came back in from fuming from my cracked Kings, we come in to see a police officer in the basement. A little unnerving, considering what we were doing was a little less than legal. However, he was just there to notify us that there were neighbours complaining of the parking by a few of the people at the game. And since we play with poker chips and not, well, you know, he had no reason to do anything further about our friendly game.

The night ended rather slowly with most of us just exhausted (and me with a migraine). I took PokerGirl home, then went home, ate dinner (at 2am, of course, because when else are you supposed to eat dinner on a Friday night?!) and went straight to sleep. I didn't wake up until almost 11:30, and that was only because Scar decided to jump all over the bed to wake me up. I swear the next time he does that (second Saturday in a row) he's going to be surprised with a knee in the nads.

Saturday was fairly slow until all of our "friends" came over for another poker game at our place. We almost didn't play because we didn't think we'd have enough people, and my word can I say I wish we hadn't?

Long story short- things were going pretty well for about 3 hours until G got knocked out by J. G's girlfriend (K) went all in the next hand (which we all assumed it would have been because of G being knocked out), and here's where the drama ensues. J, Scar, POJ (see above) and POJ's girlfriend call K's all in. Fair enough, it was only about $5. After the flop, instead of being a normal person, J bets $12 into a dry pot to protect whatever hand he's got. Scar calls this raise after much stressed out deliberation, POJ folds (holy crap that's a first) and POJ's girlfriend calls. The turn comes out, and J bets $25 more in. This pretty much pissed Scar off, because it really annoys him when people bet into a dry pot that outrageously. He goes all in. POJ's girlfriend calls (a very pissed off call, mind you) and J not only calls Scar's all in, but forces POJ's girlfriend all in. She has a really mean temper, so she angrily calls. The river comes, and it misses the straight and flush that both J and POJ's girlfriend were trying to hit, but gives Scar trips (see triplets), as he had QQ.

K had AA, which is why she went all in the in the first place.

This is where the explosion occurs. POJ's girlfriend gets pissed off at J for betting into a dry pot, J fires back at her that she did the same thing to him a week or two ago, and the voices get higher and higher. Scar made a bad move in telling K that he was sorry she got knocked out because he should have been the only one to call. This infuriates J, and he starts yelling, so Scar takes a deep breath and tells everyone to chill out. J, being the "grown man" that he is, says "Don't tell me to chill out, I'm a grown f***ing man!".

At this point, I'm in tears, and stand up and yell in my loudest (non-screeching) voice "SHUT UP!".

I got everyone to stop for at least 30 seconds. That was it. J continues on with his whole "I'm a grown f***ing man" rant, and then yells at Scar "F*** YOU!". Scar immediately tells everyone that the game is over, cashes everyone out, and they all leave.

I don't know how to make heads or tails of this situation, so I lay my head on the table and just close my eyes and let the tears fall. I can't stand stressful situations like that, and I haven't had to yell that loud in a VERY long time. Everyone finally leaves, Scar sits me on the futon, puts everything away, and gathers me up into his arms and apologizes for the next 20 minutes that he let things get so out of hand. It was the first time in a very very long time that I felt protected and reassured by him.

Needless to say, I fell asleep in his arms, and he didn't try to wake me once, he just fell asleep right next to me and let me sleep until we both woke up at 7am.

And since this was such a long entry, I'm going to save Sunday for another entry.

I'm out of Balacet- anyone have a Xanax?

Thursday, August 9, 2007

Tips for planning a wedding- stoned.

So today is my 3 1/2 year anniversary with Scar. In exactly 6 months, on our 4 year anniversary, we will be celebrating our relationship by tying the proverbial knot.

Mind you, this wedding was originally planned for June 9, 2007, but we needed to postpone because of Scar's back surgery. He still hasn't been able to go back to work- so he's been sitting at home all day long twiddling his thumbs (and collecting workers compensation pay checks). We weren't positive whether or not it would be smart to get married with the stigma of one of us being "unemployed".

So here are, 6 months out from the wedding. I've finally accepted the fact that I need to start planning again, especially considering the fact that most of the planning that was finished is now changing because of bridesmaids and groomsmen moving, and possibly not able to attend the wedding, let alone be a part of it.

Depressing, to say the least.

However, I did get some great advice from Stacy over at
Wedding Tactics . She was a great help in reassuring me that there are tons of options in moving from a late spring/early summer wedding to a winter wedding, especially when it came to flowers.

You see, my original plan was a wedding almost planned around a bouquet that was predominately lavender and purple in color. I was hesitant to continue to use this color for a winter wedding, but Stacy reassured me that no only could that color still be used, but it be expanded upon.

Anywho, I digress. I'm completely confused by all the plans I actually need to dive into, and I'm nervous that I won't have it done in time. My answer? Yup, you got it- pain killers! You see, I totally justify this action in the following manner:
"Gosh, this wedding planning is giving me a migraine. This migraine is making my neck and back hurt. My neck and back is starting to hurt to the point that my legs are bothering me. Sheesh, I can't concentrate now. Alright, let's take some Balacet and feel better."

You see?


I need a new prescription.

As aforementioned, today is my 3 1/2 year anniversary with Scar. We're celebrating by going to Red Lobster. I am pretty excited about this, honestly, because aside from visiting Applebee's with Busty and her Mom prior to The Legwarmers show, I haven't actually been to a "restaurant" since Scar's Dad and Step Mom came to visit in April or May, or whenever it was. We went to Olive Garden.

That's all. I'm listening to a co-worker ramble on and on about buying stuff for her daughter for her new apartment. Scar and I just moved out, and the only thing my parents "bought" for us was a dining room table. We bought everything else ourselves. And spent about $1000 in the process (this isn't including the bed, couch and dressers, which were all hand me downs from family).

Oh well- I'm done ranting about minor annoyances. Trust me, if I let myself keep going, I'd probably get myself in trouble.

Au Revoir.

Monday, August 6, 2007

New Injury, Same Stupidity

Ummm... I hit my head again. Well, actually, I didn't do the hitting. A softball that took a mean bounce off homeplate last night hit my head. I have the stitch marks from the softball on forehead.

Why, yes, some of you must say "But Pain Freak, how do you manage to keep doing these things to yourself?". My only response is "I don't know, it's fun".

You would think by now I would learn to stay away from anything that could hurt my head... you know, cars, softballs, doors, countertops, nightstands, shower heads, sinks, cupboards... but then, well, I just wouldn't leave the house anymore. I'd stay in bed, never leaning towards my lamp or alarm clock. And I'll most definitely need a padded headboard, because we all know that walls have the capability of reaching out and smacking me upside the head.

For your viewing pleasure- my newest contusion:

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Weekend in Review...

Sorry it's been a few days since I've updated. I wanted to update throughout the weekend, but it proved to be a more hectic weekend than I thought it would be. I also couldn't update Monday or Tuesday due to it being the end of the month, and I barely have enough time to fart let alone type up a blog.

My sincerest apologies.
So! Here we go with an update on the weekend and the last few days.


Friday was a little more hectic of a day than I would have liked it to be. Since I was sick on Monday, I had about four hours I needed to make up. I got close to it, but it just wasn't happening. Thankfully, I was given the go ahead to come in Saturday morning to make up time.

Moving along. I got off work and went straight home in hopes of eating dinner and heading out the door to go to see The Simpsons Movie. When I arrive at the apartment, Scar isn't preparing dinner of any sort. He's in the shower, getting ready for the movie. No dinner. NO DINNER?! I was so stinking hungry, I nearly tore his eyes out for not having food ready for me. That might be slightly combined with my gradually increasing PMS.

We head to the brand new theatre over in Brambleton, Fox Cinemas, and wait for all of our friends to get there (PokerGuy, PokerGirl and two new friends, Zbaby and MusicLady). Scar and I sit out in front of the theater for EVER waiting for them to get there. See, this is why I like having friends like Busty and her Mom- they're always on time/early. These four are the type to get there at the last possible second, because they don't think about the fact that it might be hard to find 6 seats for a movie that just opened that day.

As for the movie- it was actually pretty good. Yes, it was like a 90 minute Simpsons episode, but you get to see more from the beloved Simpsons family than you would in a normal episode. It was worth $10 to go see it (well, technically $60 for all the tickets I bought, butScar didn't realize that yes, I was intending to collect from all of them). Sorry, I'm not THAT irritated.

We went to Bloom after the movie to do some light grocery shopping (to the tune of a "light" $90), and then stopped at Burger King on the way home.


Saturday morning, I got my lazy ass up at 6:15am to go into the office to finish up some work. I arrived at 7am, and was furiously working until 8:55am when the entire system shut down. I went roaming around the office, 3rd AND 4th floor, looking for someone, ANYONE, who might be able to explain to me why the hell my e-mail, system, timeclock and internet stopped working. I finally ran into the IT guys who looked at me like I had appeared out of nowhere.

"What happened to the system?"
"Didn't you get the memo?"
"What memo?"
"We sent an e-mail to all the managers notifying them the system would be up and down for 4 hours today, and it's not encouraged for anyone to come in and work today"
"So... my manager isn't manager enough to get that particular e-mail?"

Needless to say I went home just about 45 minutes shy of a full 40 hour work week, which irritated the hell out of me.

Once I got home, Scar and I ran out to run a couple of errands, then I fell asleep on the couch to nap for the big night ahead. That big night- The Legwarmers Show at the State Theatre with Busty and her Mom!!!!

Well, anyway, it was a great show.

This is all I really feel like updating about now... I just found out I'm getting my quarterly review. Let you know how that goes.

Friday, July 27, 2007

So You Think You Can Dance IRRITATION.

If you know me, you know that I've got a guilty pleasure in only one reality show- So You Think You Can Dance. Being a former dancer, this is probably the only show I'd actually sit and enjoy on a night to night basis.

I'm a little disappointed though. I was watching the results show last night- and if you watched it, you were probably assuming that Jaime and Kameron were going home. Honestly, with how stuck up Jaime is, and Kameron's steady decline over the last few weeks, it really was a given.

Little did I know that Cox Digital Cable also assumed Jaimie and Kameron were going home, too. I flipped over from watching The Devil Wears Prada on HBO to FOX to watch the results show promptly at 9pm, and lo and behold, the Show Info on my TV said the following: "So You Think You Can Dance": Kameron Bink, Jaimie Goodwin Two more dancers must leave; Mika performs. (L) Perform.

In case you weren't aware, that "L" stands for "Live". The results show was meant to be LIVE. So why was it, before the show even started, I knew who was going home?

I'm thoroughly disappointed. However, at least I feel slightly vindicated in knowing that I got a snapshot of my TV with The Simpsons Movie commercial in the background. Which I'm going to see tonight. I can NOT wait. More to come tonight after I get home from the movie. 11 more hours. I can make it, I'm awesome.

Thursday, July 26, 2007


Just got to work this morning. The foe-head is doing quite a bit better, but my hip has been bothering me since my softball game on Sunday. So I went to see my orthopedic doctor this morning to make sure I didn't fracture my iliac crest or something equally as annoying (like a hernia).

They took an x-ray and noticed my bones are fine... when I asked what the little black spots were on my left hip, the x-ray tech quietly laughed. I, of course, love a good reason to laugh, responded "What??".

"That's gas."

Wow, that was slightly embarrassing. And I'm not known for being the "embarrassed" type. Oops.

My doctor poked my hip a few times, and said "What happened this time?".

"Well, this is how it goes. Since you sent me to a pain management doctor for my RSD and Fibromyalgia, I've been doing quite a bit better. I also went to see a Shiatsu Therapist, and he was able to help me tremendously. So I decided it would be a great idea to start doing something to help jump start me into working out and losing weight. I started playing softball this summer with a Co-Ed league, which is something I grew up doing and thoroughly enjoy. This past Sunday, I played catcher... now mind you, this weight gain and 'gracefulness' does not lend for a very comfortable squat for extended periods of time. You know the term 'cow-tipping'? That's sort of what it's like when you bump me in a squatting position. I just sort of, well, fall over. That did happen a couple times, as well as having collisions with a few people attempting to score. Since that point, I've been fairly stiff, and my hip has hurt to the touch, and it's especially irritating when I'm going up stairs."

As I'm giving my brief monologue of pitiful events, I look at my doctor, who's face is suddenly bright red, and my chart is covering his mouth. Oh yes, I'm being laughed at. Just to make sure he heard me correctly, he asked "And you just... fell over?".

"Yes, it's not that hard to do with me. I could fall over from a standing position, let alone a squatting position."

He is in full out laughter at this point, and I'm pretty sure (although he may never admit it) he might have had tears coming to his eyes and maybe even dribbled a little from spastic bladder control under the circumstances.

Regardless, once he managed to regain to control of himself, he decided to do an injection in my hip with cortisone, and sent me on my way. He believes the bursitis in my hips is flaring up again, so that's just one more thing we have to monitor.

I'm feeling a tad bit better at this point, but obviously, my ego is a little bruised. Good thing my doctor is a fox.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Just Call Me Grace...

Good Morning to all! Today is a fun day, because we've already started out with a minor injury.

Let's start this post right and explain exactly what happened.

I woke up at 6am this morning (approximately 45 minutes before my alarm was scheduled to go off)- and realized I was all alone in bed. I thought maybe Scar had gotten up to use the bathroom/smoke a cigarette/make breakfast... and I walk to the living room to find his lazy ass asleep on the couch.

Go figure. He got home around 11:15 last night from poker, and never made it all the way into the bedroom; instead, falling asleep on the couch watching High Stakes Poker on GSN. At this time, I also figured out why I had been so cold all night- he still had my blanket the couch, so I was freezing my little nips off under the thin sheet on my bed.

I went back to the bedroom to lie down for a few more minutes, and ended up falling asleep through my alarm until 7:30. I am officially late for work, because I desperately needed to shower. Don't ask.

After eating some Eggo Waffles (totally hit the spot, considering I lazed out of cooking last night and only made myself a ham 'n' cheese samich), I took a shower and began getting ready for work. Once I got my shoes on, I rushed out the door to get in my car and motor it to work. Just as I was buckling my seat belt, I realized I was missing something. My phone.

I unbuckled my seat belt, and "ran" back up the stairs (and by ran, I mean waddled hurriedly) to get it. I grabbed my phone, and rushed BACK down the stairs to my car, and as I got in, I either misjudged the height of my car, or was still asleep, and cracked my forehead open on the door frame of my car.

OUCH. Taking a peak in the rear view mirror, I realize I have little drops of blood pooling up and trickling down towards my eye. First a tear comes to my eye, then possibly every cuss word I'm aware of came pouring out of my mouth. I went back upstairs to clean up my wound and make sure I wasn't going to puke or pass out. It immediately stopped bleeding, however, I still had a few spots dancing before my right eye.

Once I finally get my bearings about me, I SLOWLY get back into my car and drive to work. I'm doing fine until the Sun, who had so graciously been hiding behind the Clouds, for my sake, I'm sure, decided to poke out and tease me with it's bright rays. I squinted and suddenly realize that my forehead was not just scratched, but had a large knot forming. That feeling is enough turn your stomach, especially when you're driving through rush hour traffic in one of the stupidest cities in NoVa. Damn you, Sun!

I was able to make it to work without mishap, however, I'm currently sitting at my desk pondering the drug interactions between Balacet and Excedrin Extra Strength, and whether or not both would be worth it for my screaming headache and back pain. Shouldn't be a problem, right?


I suppose this is the point where I take some pills to get a little stoned and forget all about the large, tumor-like knot that's forming on my forehead. Good Day, all, and I shall be back for more tales from the gracefully challenged.

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Welcome to the Pain Show

Hi! Yah, you, I was saying hi to YOU.

Welcome to my blog. Getting through all the niceties and introduction, this is my first post.

Enough about that. I'm at work, but hush now, no one is supposed to know that I waste all of my time online instead of actually working. I guess that tends to happen when you're mildly addicted to pain pills and can only concentrate on one thing at a time. Adult ADD says WHAT?

I'll give a quick run through introduction of the characters you'll meet in the stories follow, so you know exactly who you're dealing with here.

Scar- that would be my fiancé. This is purely for the fact that he had back surgery last year, and has a 4 inch scar in the middle of his lower back. That, and I couldn't think of a better name for him. He isn't working right now due to his back surgery. He still collects a higher paycheck than me on disability, but he gets to sit at home playing PlayStation all day.

Busty- a co-worker, also happens to be one of my closest friends. She is mainly the inspiration for my newly found sarcastic humor. She has the purest heart of nearly all I know, not to mention some of the BIGGEST gazungas I have ever seen. Giving her breasts a good squeeze might easily be one of the favorite rituals of my day.

GameFreek- Busty's boyfriend. In my ongoing need to be kind, I refrained from labeling him "The Biggest Dork I Know". He's a great friend, and a good boyfriend to Busty. And he also let me borrow Starcraft, so his rating went up a little in my book.

PokerGirl- this would be a new friend I just met from playing poker. She and her fiancé are good friends of ours, and often come over for a glass of wine and a good chat.

PokerGuy- PokerGirl's fiancé, he's in a world of his own most times, but his strangeness often equals amusement for those around him.

These are the main characters you'll read about. I'll introduce more characters along the way.

Now it's time for me to take my Balacet to get slightly stoned and actually work on making it through the rest of the day.

Until tomorrow...